Motivational Monday's--Peace, love, health & why I'm so thankful.

Good morning readers and happy Monday! I hope you all had a fabulous Christmas with your loved ones. It's so hard for us being away from family during this time but we enjoyed our time together & got to explore some different places! I'll blog on that next week :) 

Today I just wanted to share a journey that I've been open about but just have been reminded of as we close out 2016. Can you even believe it? This year flew by! 

These photos were taken in a span of about 7 years. The first one was taken at the beginning of when I was battling a very hard time in life. I was a recent college graduate and had found out that I had some internal issues with my ovaries. This was devastating and there were so many unknowns. I had to begin a medical regimen that included taking pills that caused clumps of my hair to fall out at any given time. In the shower, when I would put it in a ponytail, when I would style it, you name it. I lost a large amount of my hair and it looked awful.

I went home for Christmas in 2009 and asked my sweet step-mom (hairstylist) to give me some highlights and just cut it to where it looked decent. I felt better after that (top left picture), but I still felt unhappy with my physical appearance and the unknown of my internal issues. 

Eventually i was able to get off of the meds but continued to battle depression and sadness. I really had no purpose in life, I was lonely, sad, and lost most of my self worth. It was a terrible time. 

2009-2011 were some extremely HARD years. Tuff on myself, my family, my friends (I lost a lot of them), and tuff on my progress. I began seeking out positive ways to increase my self esteem & my life in general. 

1. Eating & living healthy.

2. Being in positive relationships.

3. Re-connecting with those I turned away.

4. Staying active everyday. 

5. Setting attainable goals.

These 5 things saved my life. Seriously. 

I spent a lot of time researching and working on my health and fitness, which led to me becoming a certified personal trainer. I researched a ton on clean eating and using food as medicine. I replaced my medicines with natural remedies. I just got HEALTHY. 

I tried to forgive myself for the relationships, mostly friendships that I had lost because I was selfish, not smart, angry, negative, and emotional. I didn't get most of those friendships back, maybe they just didn't accept my apology or didn't want to continue the relationship and to this day I miss a lot of them. But I did forgive myself. 

I made sure and only keep relationships that had a positive impact on my life. I had to change a lot of things I was doing, places I was hanging out, and advice I was listening to. I made sure to surround myself with loving people, loving couples that led by example, and families that just help loneliness go away. 

I worked out!!!! I started training everyday, and since I was a personal trainer I was able to make my own programs and follow them! I love that and still do that today. I knew by staying active that my hormones and my mood would be positive and this was so important. By summer of 2011 I was in the best shape of my life. (You can ask Zo how much he liked that body! Hehe). I was happy, I was healthy, and my body was strong from the inside out. 

Lastly, I set goals. Starting in the fall of 2010 I began setting quarterly goals for myself---every season, a new goal or goals. Some seasons had a lot of goals to reach and some seasons had few. I STILL do this and the winter goals are listed below. Thought I would share.

1. Spend at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted time to myself each day.

2. Give Logan more undivided attention. 

3. Have 150 clients by March 1.  

4. Lose 4% more body fat by March 1. 

These goals are winter (December-February) and then spring (March-May), summer (June-August), fall (September-November). 

This schedule works for me. It gives me about 90 days to reach my goals and then sometimes I carry them over. 

In the hard times, it was goals that helped carry me to the next days, it was something to look forward to and to strive for. I did, and still believe in doing this because it works! 

I don't know what the future holds but I am forever grateful I have one. I don't know what I did to deserve God's grace or mercy on me. I have done and been through things in my past that have left me broken, shamed, and sad. I have many times felt that things couldn't be worse and that I had no reason in life. 

But God felt differently. He allowed me to find hope and grace, to breathe again, to reconnect, to love, to share, and to live with no more sadness. 

My life isn't perfect now, but it's probably as close as I'll get. I'm so very grateful for my husband, for my son, for my family and friends, and for life!! 

If this is a season of sadness for you, for pain, if this season you feel like there is no hope, no end to all the sadness...there is, believe me!! God will pull you out of whatever is bringing you down, He will cover you with His almighty hand, He will shower you with love and blessings, He will show you mercy when you fall, forgiveness when you sin, love when you feel lost, and healing when the doctors say there isn't hope. 

God wants nothing more this season, this time of life, just for you to say YES, I surrender. To say YES God, where you lead I will follow, no matter the cost. 

This season remember....God sent His son to save us from everything we face, to save us from ourselves and to save us when we are lost. He sent His son and ultimately gave His sons LIFE for us to have one. 

God makes no mistakes and my prayer for myself this season is this...

Heavenly Father,

Forgive me for the times I thought your plans weren't correct, forgive me for the moments that I felt you didn't create me to be amazing and in your image, forgive my heart for believing that I couldn't be someone who was loved. Forgive me for hurting others, soften their hearts to believe I am sorry and that I didn't mean to hurt them. Lord forgive me and grant me grace. I offer my life and my all to you, help me be a better, stronger, kinder, and healthier person today. Help me remember that you have created me to be the best person, wife, and mother and that I am capable to do it all. I thank you for your mercy, your grace, your son, and your forgiveness Lord. Where I fall, pick me up; where I stumble, correct my path. I thank you, I praise you. Amen. 

Hope you all have a wonderful week & see ya in 2017!!

-Morgan