Good morning mamas (and all readers :) ) & happy Monday to you all. We had a wonderful weekend celebrating my husbands birthday. We are so blessed to have him in our lives & I am so grateful God chose him for me.
We also spent Sunday evening out with our best friends (& Logan's Godparents) enjoying dinner, laughs, & some kid free time!! (Thanks to Logan's Mimi)
But hear me now....I am quickly learning that motherhood is not for the weak! I'm being totally open & vulnerable on this post, not because I need you to invite me for some wine (but you can if you would like), but because I know I'm not alone & I don't want anyone to think that the little boy that smiles at you all week through photos on Facebook & Instagram is always giggling it up!
The past couple of weeks have been extremely overwhelming for me. My husband is in prime workout season & gone quite a bit. I am working on my Origami Owl jewelry business & the holiday season is extremely busy! I'm committed in a big way to my overseas basketball bible study, my personal training business, & teaching & working with Logan.
Logan has always been a pretty active & curious kid. Over the past couple weeks as we approach 1, he has discovered so much more, learned so many new things, is interested in a ton, grabbing, climbing, pulling & chasing everything!! My baby boy is growing his molars, growing his food palette, & transitioning from bottle to cup. Whew!! (I wanted a nap after writing that). We are also starting to follow a more normal schedule with activities & more interaction with other children. We are learning about things, reading, singing, etc. Lots of changes are happening for all 3 of us right now!
Combine all that together & you have one tired mama...who just finished her 4th cup of coffee, started laundry, cooked lunch, prepped dinner, & is hoping to take a shower at nap time.
Sound familiar to anyone??
I cried this weekend. Fell on the ground & just cried. I was so overwhelmed. For the first time in a long time, it hit me that motherhood is the toughest journey. I always had a few challenges, stressors, fears & anxieties since becoming a mama, but now---I am realizing a few things that I vow to remember moving forward.
1. It's ok to cry on the floor- sometimes we just have to let it all out. Realize that we aren't perfect & we don't have all the answers. I'm not always going to understand Logan's frustrations to communicate & express himself. I won't always be the most patient & sometimes when it becomes overwhelming, it's okay to express that.
2. Take a break, talk about it--I had to tell my husband that even though the house is clean, food on the table, & Logan is running through the house with smiles screaming "dada" that it wasnt an easy task to accomplish. Talking with your partner, friend, or family member about your struggles can really help you relieve some stress & gain advice.
3. Marriage is my first ministry--Sunday was full of stressors from Logan. Including him leaving bite marks on his hand because he is chewing it as a teething ring. (Sigh). I have to remember that my marriage comes before motherhood & my son. As much as I'm obsessed with my little guy, Sunday was my husbands birthday & he deserved that day. No matter how tuff it was for Logan & I, it was my husbands desire to enjoy a night out, and we sure did. My first ministry beyond Christ is my marriage & my husband deserves 100% attention no matter how hard being a "mama" was that day.
4. God never gives us more than we can handle. It's just that simple. It might seem tough, impossible, scary & frustrating, but God has equipped me to be Logan's mom, he knows my struggles & my fears & has placed me in this position fully capable of handling it all.
5. Logan will only be this small for a short time. I have to remember this during these rough phases Logan will go through. I have to remember that the effort, the goals, the dreams, &'the passion I have for my baby boy will forever be no matter what. As hard as it seems, I cherish his little passion to do big things, I cherish his determination to climb that shelf, to get behind that couch, to scream so the librarian pays attention & to do what those 5 year old kids at the park are doing. When he is older I will look back at all he has accomplished & love him 100x more than I already do, if that's possible. My heart is full, I am blessed & I will continue reminding myself that in the hard times, Logan still loves his mama the same.
Thank you Lord for the blessing & job of being Logan's mama, equipping me for the task, & reminding me that even though the hours are long & the journey is tuff; that you have big & perfect plans for my family. Help me remember patience, understanding, guidance, love, & biblical judgement when it comes to raising Logan.
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